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Friday, November 20, 2009

Stalking the Wild Scratcher.

If my last article isn’t enough to warn anyone off of getting a tattoo done by a scratcher, maybe I can convince you with this one…and possibly save you the experience of a piss poor job, or even your life…if I can.

Even in a state where tattooing is regulated one can find that bastion of ill health and greed known to the licensed professional world as “The Scratcher.” More often than not this resident of the slime ball environment will be delusional, egotistic, and not give a crap about anything, or person, other than themselves and their wallet. They will also tend to be the laziest c#@ksuckers on the face of the Earth, lacking the intestinal fortitude to take the proper way to get what they want, and will give more excuses than a porcupine has quills as to why they can’t.

Tattooing picUnfortunately, this species is far from extinct, but with luck will soon be put on the endangered list. (Probably as soon as regulations are placed on their feeding ground, the suppliers who sell to anyone with the bucks.)

Case in point; Jacksonville Florida, where there has been an alarming increase in the amount of Scratcher prey showing up at legitimate tattoo studios. These prey have exhibited all the signs of a Scratcher attack.

According to Grace Dlabaj of Kadillac Tattoo studio:

“A lot of people are coming in with homemade tattoos and a lot of them are infected and poorly done. Sometimes it is an easy fix, and there are some there is nothing you can do.

It is a lot of teenage kids, it is a lot of people who could make better decisions, but they are going and getting it done out of dirty houses. You can get hepatitis, AIDS, a bad staph infection or a scar that you will have to live with the rest of your life.”

The good news is you can easily avoid a Scratcher attack; they do not hunt you down like most other predators. They tend to entrap their prey with slick sounding phrases like:

“I can do just as good a job as those high priced guys.”

“I’ll give you a better deal.”

And the one used most often on their favorite prey, the young and dumb:

“It doesn’t matter if your underage, if you want a tattoo I’ll do it for you.”

Look, it doesn’t take a genius to guess that if these guys are still plying their rotten trade in a state that has some of the stiffest tattoo laws in the country, and it’s a problem there, what are they doing in states that have no regulations?

Again, I have to say; For the sake of the clients it is about time that tattoo equipment suppliers have some regulations placed on them as well. One of the best I can think of is not being allowed to sell tattoo equipment to unlicensed customers. (And I totally support those suppliers who refuse to sell to the general public.) No, I’m not stupid enough to think it will totally cure the problem yet, but most people are wary of getting tattooed by someone who is using homemade equipment and ink. Unless, of course, they are in prison.

I do think that it will put “The Scratcher” on the endangered species list though, and that’s a good thing. The harder we make it on this detestable species to survive the faster they will fade away…besides if they are too damned lazy to do things the right way, I’m betting they are also too damned lazy to keep up with the pressure.

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